President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky Jokes

 

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Clinton: "I didn't tell her to lie in the disposition... I was telling
her to 'lie in that position.'"

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Q: What was President Clinton's reaction to the Abortion Bill?

A: He paid it.

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Q: What's the difference between President Clinton and the Titanic?

A: Only 1,500 people went down on the Titanic.

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Newsweek polled over 1000 women and asked the question: "Would you
sleep with Bill Clinton?" 97% replied, "Never Again."

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Q: Did you know that Hillary Clinton just wrote a new book?

A: It's titled, "It Takes a Village to Satisfy My Husband".

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"I don't understand all the fuss about Clinton. He's just giving the
people what they want; sex and Gore."

- George Okeefe

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Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?

A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.

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Q: Why is President Clinton so interested in events in the Middle
East?

A: He thought the Gaza Strip was a topless bar.

The Wizard of Oz in DC


The Wizard of Oz visits Washington DC. He sees Al Gore and asks if
there is anything he wants. "Well, sure!" says Al. "I'd like to have a
brain." "Done!" says the Wizard, and he gives the veep a brain.

Next he sees Al D'Amato, the Senator from New York, and asks if there
is anything he wants. D'Amato thinks for a second and says he would
like to have a heart. "Done!" says the Wizard, and he gives the
Senator a heart.

Finally the Wizard sees Bill Clinton and asks if there is anything the
President wants. Bill pauses, looks around for a minute and quietly
asks, "Where's Dorothy?"