"US Air Force Issues"


Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.


Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."

Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."


Problem: "Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough."

Solution: "Auto-land not installed on this aircraft."


Problem: "The auto-pilot doesn't."

Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."


Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."

Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."


Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."

Solution: "Evidence removed."


Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."

Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."


Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."

Solution: "Live bugs on order."


Problem: "Auto-pilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."

Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."


Problem: "IFF inoperative."

Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."


Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."

Solution: "That's what they're there for."


Problem: "Number three engine missing."

Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."



 Submitted by: Rick Archer @ mum.edu

Date: Thu, 22 May 1997 23:39:57 -0400

From: Oracle Service Humor List <oracle-list-help@synapse.net>

Subject: HUM: US Air Force Issues (**1/2)

Message-Id: <evanc.970524.2@synapse.net>